BMC has taken a serious
note of the flak that it faced on social media, over the conditions of Mumbai
roads in monsoon. And in an unprecedented move, it has decided to get help from
none other than Mark Zuckerberg. No, it is not asking Facebook to delete the
profiles of all those who have dared to question BMC’s competence. In fact,
they are collaborating with the founder of Facebook to help them crack the code
of accurately counting the number of potholes in Mumbai. Sources close to us
have informed that the idea was sparked from the scene in the movie The Social
Network (based on Mark Zuckerberg’s story behind making of Facebook) where Mark
is seen (along with his friends) cracking an algorithm for Facemash. The idea
is to not only accurately count the total number of potholes in Mumbai, but
also to rank them. No, the ranking is not according to the attractiveness of a
pothole (that was for Facemash), but according to their depth and severity. The
potholes, would be classified in one of the following three categories:
A – The Adolescent Khadda
It is not a full-fledged
‘pot’ yet, but just a small ‘pit’, a small indentation, the size of a small
katori or a cutting-chai cup.
B – The Backache Khadda
This is the medium
category pothole. It is potent enough to cut the life of your suspensions and
spine by half, each time your vehicle falls into it. The BMC is in the process
of putting up some of the best orthopedic doctors on its medical panel,
especially for this category of potholes. You just need to log in the pin code
of the area where you encountered this pothole, and you will be directed to the
nearest orthopedic doctor (or a bone-setter, depending whether you are in the West
or the East).
C - The Galactic Crater (or The ICU Khadda, like some call it)
Our thoughts and
prayers with you, if you happen to fall in one of these. It is the biggest of
them and it is further divided into two categories: a) Casualty Ward Pothole,
& b) ICU Pothole
We have also heard from
our trusted (BIS approved) sources that some noted wildlife experts and tiger
conservationists have also been roped-in for the pothole counting project. Mr.
Magarmachwala, a renowned wildlife enthusiast said, “Counting potholes is like
counting tiger pugmarks, raised to the power of n (where n ≠ no. of seats in
BMC)”.