Rahul Baba Ka Phone Kidhal Hai...??

Front page headline in The Times of India, June 29th: ‘Rahul Gandhi’s phone stolen at IGI, recovered’. The news item further mentions ‘…..the thief was soon tracked down and the handset restored to its owner after the official machinery swung into top gear’. Dear taxpayer, feel mighty pleased to know that a part of your hard earned money that the government pinches out from your pocket is being used for locating the lost phone of a certain someone. I felt like a castrated creature when I read this on the front page of India’s leading national daily – the fact that my country’s official machinery channels its energies into finding the mobile phone of a 40-year-old certain someone whose only claim to fame under this sun is the surname with which he was born. And also the fact that this unprecedented act of bravado was put on the front page of India’s foremost English daily. (Oddly enough, the news about signing of a nuclear deal between India and Canada was slotted in the much smaller column on the left under ‘News Digest’.)



Let’s get the context more clearly. The official machinery that we are talking about here consisted mainly the people from CISF – the very people responsible for the safety and security at our airports. It is not difficult to imagine that for that duration of time when the machinery was swinging with action, the fate of the hoi polloi present at the airport would have been hanging in thin air, as the shift in focus would have compromised on the routine duties of the CISF. So the next time you prepare yourself to reaffirm your family’s long held tradition and legacy of sucking up to a certain surname, please remind yourself that the very surname is more indispensable than even the lives of your near and dear ones. But you will still suck up nonetheless, because at the end of the day we are a nation of suckers.

And while we are at it – getting the context right – my memory and general awareness fail to inform me what ministry Rahul Baba handles. Actually, it’s not the fault of my memory; Rahul is not a minister, not even a Minister of State. So technically he is not even a part of the ruling government. Thank God for that dear suckers, otherwise they would have shut down the entire airport in the pursuit of certain someone’s mobile phone.

They say ‘power corrupts’. Let’s say, even if it doesn’t corrupt you, it sure does make your life easy – imagine people from country’s one of the topmost paramilitary forces trying to locate your mobile phone for you! Keep sucking-up.

Peace.

Adalaj: A Photo-essay

The Step-well ('Vaav') of Adalaj.
The vaav was built by Queen Rudabai, wife of Vaghela chief Virasimha in the year 1498.
The vaav is situated about 20 kms. from Ahmedabad (35 kms. from Maninagar). Take the Gandhinagar-Sarkhej highway towards Gandhinagar. Than take a left turn from Adalaj circle. The following are the pics from my recent visit to the place. For more info on the place, please go to the following links:

http://www.bharatonline.com/gujarat/travel/ahmedabad/adalaj-vav.html


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adalaj

IPL: Celebrating Cricket

On March 19th, Dinesh Kartik and Suresh Raina walked out at the Firoz Shah Kotla for a toss, as captains of two IPL teams. The sight was pretty pleasing to say the least. But it was second only to that of Jayasuriya and Tendulkar walking in to open the batting for Mumbai Indians. Any apprehensions as to how engaging would the IPL format turn out to be, were put to rest the day when this happened – Sanath and Sachin walking in as opening batsmen for the same team. Cheerleaders, live music, colour, pomp, glamour and extravagance – IPL was presented as a celebration of cricket and has lived up to be that way.

When two of the world’s most destructive opening batsmen are playing together, it makes for quite a sight, isn’t it? Although, I am sure that the bowlers of the opposite team will have a different opinion. And when this happened, I felt that all the hype and marketing buzz created around IPL was finally worth it. Now, picture this. Raina captaining the likes of Hayden, Murlitharan, Morkel and Kemp. On the other side, Kartik marshalling the likes of Dilshan, Sehwag, A B Diviliers and Dirk Nannes. Two young Indian players – one who has almost cemented his place in the Indian team but still has a lot to prove in the long run; and another, a much improved wicketkeeper-batsmen but has been in and out of the Indian team – getting this opportunity to wear the captain’s arm band and lead their sides. This augurs well not only for the future of Indian cricket, but for cricket as a whole.

What’s more, this format throws up a lot of intriguing mini-showdowns of its own – Gilchrist clobbering Shane Warne, Dhoni punishing Zaheer, Murlitharan bowling a wrong one to Jayasuriya, Steyn bowling a sharp one to Gibbs, Yusuf Pathan padding-up to Irfan Pathan – all this and more, in one sumptuous buffet of exciting slam-bam cricket. The format has also raised the levels of cricket by a few notches – sharp singles, breath taking catches and of course towering sixes have now become the norm, even in a fifty over match. A lot of young cricketers have thrown caution to the wind and lapped up the opportunities coming their way. Besides, one has witnessed innovations like free hit for a no-ball (over stepping) and commentators chatting up with players on the field in the thick of live action.

With all this, there is also a concern of too much of cricket and burnout; not all of which might be unsubstantiated. An India-Pakistan encounter doesn’t anymore generate the same kind of euphoria that it once used to. To that extent cricket sure has become a bit casual and an everyday affair. But this phenomenon is not limited to cricket alone. The glut and overexposure syndrome now spans all areas of our lives – from just one national TV channel to over a 100 to choose from now, at least 10 different makes of car to select from in a given category, from one phone connection in the entire block to almost everyone carrying a personal cell phone now. The pace of human race has increased exponentially and correspondingly the span of attention has reduced almost the same rate. Thus, this explosion of and in cricket, is inevitable.

So let’s put other things aside and enjoy this celebration of cricket. And while we are at it, let’s relish the run feast as the Matara marauder and the master blaster mercilessly beat up anyone who bowls at them!

Maya vs. Modi: A Tale of Two Celebrations

Behenji (Mayawati) recently celebrated 75th anniversary of Shri Kanshi Ram and 25 years of the formation of BSP by organizing a ‘maharally’. It is speculated that the ‘maharally’ cost the state exchequer a whopping 500 crores - more than the annual turnover of a mid sized company.

Behenji was also honoured by being garlanded a colossal garland strewn with currency notes of 1000 rupees. While the media and the opposition parties are pegging the worth of the garland to be anything around 3 to 5 crores, I would like to rewind just a little bit and draw behenji’s kind attention to the unfortunate incident a fortnight ago at Pratapgarh, where 65 innocent lives were lost to a stampede. Madam CM had then said that the state was under ‘acute financial constraints’ and hence would not be able to give compensation to the kin of the dead. Madam CM, if your garland indeed was having currency notes worth rupees 5 crores; I would kindly request you to pluck just a few of them. Even if the kin of dead is compensated with rupees 5 lakhs each, it would amount to rupees 3.25 crores and hence it would still leave out currency worth rupees 1.75 crores to be garlanded around your worthy neck. I sincerely hope that you are not put in great amount of botheration as I ask for this great personal compromise and sacrifice to your grandeur. I also hope that your party workers and other suckers in your administration would conjure up more of people’s hard earned tax money from the state exchequer to put yet another and bigger garland around your neck the next time, to compensate for this compromise that I am requesting you to do.

Cut to Gujarat and to a gentleman by the name of Shri Narendra Modi. Again, not too long ago a function was held in Gujarat that involved the CM of the state. It was an auction of various gifts and souvenirs that he receives at various functions. As many as 1,173 gift articles were auctioned generating an amount of Rs. 1.25 Crores, which would be spent on girl’s education in the state. There’s one more thing to Narendra Modi – he charges a certain sum of money if you want him to be a guest at your function or at your place i.e. any function which may not be directly related to the official business of the Government of Gujarat. Again, he donates all such money collected to the cause of girl’s education in the state.

What this throws up, is a contrast of not just the two political functionaries, but of two substantially different political and social cultures. I don’t even want to compare the road infrastructure or the power (electricity) situation in the two states, simply because you can not have a bout between a feather weight and a heavy weight. Gujarat is light years ahead of a state like UP on such indicators. Having seen and stayed in a city like Ahmedabad, one would be forced to wonder if a place like UP is a part of the same country.

However, I do want to debate and ponder over one thing - making mockery of democracy that this lady has got so used to. Mayawati to me in fact is a picture of the dysfunctions of a democratic system in a setup like India’s. She scoffs at the system that gets her into power. She takes the support of a democratic process only to act farcically feudal, once in power. Political vendettas, whimsical transfers and suspensions of officials, bad-mouthing the media and other politicians, sickeningly indulging in self-worshipping – Mayawati has stooped to all time new lows in Indian politics. The lady claims to be the messiah of the poor and dalits, but all she does in the name of governance and administration is build her own statues worth crores in public memorial parks. And the only thing that can happen to poor with such farce of a governance is that they would become poorer. This in turn leads to problems like out-migration and crime.

But the malady actually runs deeper. The poor and the uneducated elect people like Mayawati. And they continue to remain poor and uneducated due to such governance and policies, and hence would continue to bring to power people like her time and again. Thus, unless the basics of a civil society are in place, the edifice will continue to be wrecked by political rot at the top. India is mammoth and so are her problems. India’s social and cultural values are already in place, economy is doing good, although poverty continues to be one big problem; it is only the political set up that continues to disappoint. Hope the country manages to see much better, responsible, civilized and accountable polity in future.

(Image courtesy Khaleej Times and Google Images.)

Shut up. Just shut up, shut up.

Shut up Shahrukh: I know, you are a superstar. You have the gift of the gab. You are witty, you are humorous. Your right to talk is probably greater than an average Joe’s right to express himself. And you also have right to abuse that right of yours, which you have done quite adequately from time to time.

Behind that ‘I am the most secular’ facade of yours, you do smack of parochialism form time to time. But the superstar that you are, and the charming and witty ways that you have; it is not only difficult to accuse you of being parochial, but it is almost impossible not to fall in line with your words. And in calling you parochial, it is almost impossible not to get labeled as parochial oneself.

Please correct me if I am wrong. If you didn’t like Pakistani players being left out, why didn’t your team pick them up? Or, why did you not open that charming mouth of yours before the auction against the ‘diktat’, if there was any. If you already had been instructed, either by the cricket board or by the government to steer clear from the Pakistani players, you should have spoken up before the auction. That would have been the right time to raise the issue, and you would have got more and unbiased support from all quarters. If you chose not to speak up then, please shut up now.

The only purpose that you can possibly serve by speaking up now, is fan the feelings of parochialism. That’s exactly that you did. Congratulations! You know, that you will get a 1000 pseudo-secularist in this country if you call for one. When was the last time your charming mouth said anything about the displaced Kashmiri pandits, if being secular is so close to your heart? Your mouth or any of those 1000 pseudo-secularists’ mouths, for that matter. So stop abusing that lime light of yours. Stop abusing that ‘your-word-is-holier-than-most’ power that you command by default.

Pakistan and the Pakistani players are known to court trouble. What if for some reason, the franchises are not able to use the services Pakistani players, after paying lakhs of rupees. See what Afridi did in Australia? How can you blame anyone for steering clear of such ‘un-sportsmen’ like sports men? As a part of IPL and hence cricket, where are your comments on that incident now? And Sohail Tanvir? The player, who earned lakhs in the first edition of IPL, claims in an interview on Pakistani TV channel that ‘Hindus are like that only’. Hindus?? He said Hindus Shahrukh, and not Indians. Now who is bringing religion in sports??

So stop beating hard on that pseudo-secularist drum of yours. Because you are not secular. No one is. Take my advice. Just shut up.



Shut up ‘Mumbai Goons’: You have no right to protest the ‘racism’ against Indians in Australia. What are you doing to your fellow Indians in Mumbai? What is your piece of advice to all the Marathi people working in Bangalore, Gurgaon or USA? Take my advice. Just shut up.



Shut up Chetan Bhagat: Chetan, don’t undo the good (of writing a good book) that you have done, by being a cry baby now. Let us enjoy the movie. Take my advice. Just shut up. Opps! Looks like you saw this blog coming, you already have shut up.



Shut up Vijay Assudani: No matter how long a blog you write, you are not going to get any hits. No one gives a s*it. Take my advice. Just shut up.